10 Questions to Ask in Heaven

1. Mosquitos. Seriously? Not to question Your infinite wisdom, Lord, but I GOTTA know what You were thinking there.

2. DVR. Is there DVR up here, and can we use it? Because there was some seriously cool stuff happening back in history that I would pay to watch. Moses and the Red Sea, Elijah on Mt. Carmel, Jesus making wine, the American revolution…

3. Dementia? Not to be rude or anything, but it just seems mean. And while we’re on the subject, hay fever. Stretching the definition of “necessary evil” a bit far there, aren’t we?

4. Physical and sexual child abuse? Maybe if divine judgment was a little more… spectacular. I’m thinking lightning bolts from heaven would be a good deterrent.

5. Remember that time back in 6th grade when I stood in front of the class and gave a speech with my fly gaping open… WHERE WAS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL?! I want a word with that guy…

6. The platypus. Good one!!! So… were they really just made out of spare parts, or what?

7. Now that I’m dead, would You mind explaining the whole Sovereignty v. Freewill thing In a way I could actually understand? I promise I won’t tell anyone down there.

8. Can I meet George Washington? He’s kind of a hero of mine.

9. Chicago Cubs? LOL!

10. And just once, Lord, just for a moment, I’d like to see the world through Your eyes. Any chance I could?

BONUS: Thanks again for the’86 Mets and Coke Zero. Good stuff!

This entry was posted in (Not So) Deep Thoughts and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to 10 Questions to Ask in Heaven

  1. Cassie says:

    Okay..I really love these questions!

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